For my family...

Dear Cousins, Aunts, Uncles,


Today was so unbelievably overwhelming for me. I attended a funeral of an amazing young lady who lost her life at the age of 18 because of driving drunk. I didn't know her very well but i couldn't even begin to IMAGINE losing anyone of you. And I could def. feel for her family's loss. Life is SOO precious; such a gift, and to lose it because of poor decisions like alcohol or drugs or being involved with the wrong people is just the saddest thing that can happen because it is all so preventable. I just want for all of you to be careful and make wise decisions. I'm so ridiculously blessed to have a beautiful, healthy, family who are smart enough to not be involved with the dangerous people or substances. There's soo much of life to look forward to and i just ask that you guys just think twice before getting into a car after you've been drinking or with someone who's been drinking.


I Love All Of You With All My Heart

My Obsession for this week!

So this week i've been super obsessed with this cover of trey songz single "I invented sex" I think its better than the original and i've been listening to it everyday since i found it.




Other things going on....
1.) hung out with an old love interest: It went surprisingly well. I was really shocked when he actually agreed to hang out. Just showed him around the city. It was late and i really needed to get home to study for an exam so we didn't do anything big. But we laughed and it was relaxing not awkward like i thought it would be. I had fun.

2.) Feelings: I'm starting to have these feelings of just not wanting to deal with shit. i want to just ignore everyone. take down facebook. and just disappear. It's almost close to impossible to do that now. Well i can at least start by shutting my phone off. The piece of shit shuts itself off in the middle of phone calls...this should be no different.

How do you disappear? How do you just escape?
thats all i wanna do.

To Whom It May Concern:

I've never wanted anything so much than to have someone to love and that loves me back just as much. I sort of have that now. Sort of because I don't feel like his heart is truly fully mine. And I thought I could get past the fact that his feelings aren't 100% for me alone because he made me believe that it was something that would pass. But it's two months later and he still says that those feelings for another are still there. And everyday my eyes see something that deep down bother me. Today I realized that if i were to keep waiting on his heart to be mine and mine alone, I would have to live everyday with a bit of sorrow. I wonder, how much longer is it going to take? The way I'm expressing myself may sound a little melodramatic but it doesn't matter because these feelings are true. I just don't know. I don't feel it's fair for me and I feel like it really tears me down at times. I just don't hold a performance for the world to see.