wow check this shit out.

So i like horoscopes and stuff like that. I like to read about sign compatibility between taurus (me) and other signs. My boyfriend happens to be an aquarius and this is what i happen to find!

The Taurus woman and the Aquarius man are fascinated by each other’s very different personalities.

The Aquarius man loves to be alone or with a million pals and needs more freedom than anyone else.

As long as the Taurus woman can tolerate the Aquarius man’s ex-lovers being his friends, the combination is good for a fun-loving affair.
(http://www.eastrolog.com/horoscope-love-match/taurus-woman-aquarius-man.php)

WTF!

He loves me...He loves me not

:) i feel soooooooooo much better. Everything got worked out annnnnd it just feels like i'll be able to not be so sad anymore! I seriously thought that if i asked him to stop talking to his ex that he would refuse and that would just break me down. But I was wrong and i'm happy that i was wrong. Becauase i really do love him; i feel like he really showed me today that he does love me as much as i love him. enough of this LOVVEE business...i got my camcorder and haven't recorded myself yet. lol. i suck at life. plus i look terrible on camera without make-up, puffy eyes, hair a mess. And it makes me sad to admit that....my lips aren't just right for my face...my lips are just big :( lol. ugh.

<3 eileen

fuckingpeiceofshit

i'm sorry if it seems that all my posts are about negative things. but its 12:23 AM and i don't wanna wake anybody up with the same bullshit. as a matter of fact i just don't wanna talk to anyone right now. I'm so angry, hurt, i don't know. I DON'T KNOW. i can't stand it. this is a rant if you couldn't already tell. I'm not someone who self-loathes and wants pity and shit. i'm usually a very happy person. but i've cried more in the past couple months than ever. It's not fair to me. i don't deserve this. i deserve to have someone who wakes up with ME on their mind and not some other girl. i'm not happy. i don't want to be angry everyday. there's always something. I could be having the best fucking day ever and i go home and see something that upsets me. i'm really tired of it. i cant even say half the things i wanna say on here.

For my family...

Dear Cousins, Aunts, Uncles,


Today was so unbelievably overwhelming for me. I attended a funeral of an amazing young lady who lost her life at the age of 18 because of driving drunk. I didn't know her very well but i couldn't even begin to IMAGINE losing anyone of you. And I could def. feel for her family's loss. Life is SOO precious; such a gift, and to lose it because of poor decisions like alcohol or drugs or being involved with the wrong people is just the saddest thing that can happen because it is all so preventable. I just want for all of you to be careful and make wise decisions. I'm so ridiculously blessed to have a beautiful, healthy, family who are smart enough to not be involved with the dangerous people or substances. There's soo much of life to look forward to and i just ask that you guys just think twice before getting into a car after you've been drinking or with someone who's been drinking.


I Love All Of You With All My Heart

My Obsession for this week!

So this week i've been super obsessed with this cover of trey songz single "I invented sex" I think its better than the original and i've been listening to it everyday since i found it.




Other things going on....
1.) hung out with an old love interest: It went surprisingly well. I was really shocked when he actually agreed to hang out. Just showed him around the city. It was late and i really needed to get home to study for an exam so we didn't do anything big. But we laughed and it was relaxing not awkward like i thought it would be. I had fun.

2.) Feelings: I'm starting to have these feelings of just not wanting to deal with shit. i want to just ignore everyone. take down facebook. and just disappear. It's almost close to impossible to do that now. Well i can at least start by shutting my phone off. The piece of shit shuts itself off in the middle of phone calls...this should be no different.

How do you disappear? How do you just escape?
thats all i wanna do.

To Whom It May Concern:

I've never wanted anything so much than to have someone to love and that loves me back just as much. I sort of have that now. Sort of because I don't feel like his heart is truly fully mine. And I thought I could get past the fact that his feelings aren't 100% for me alone because he made me believe that it was something that would pass. But it's two months later and he still says that those feelings for another are still there. And everyday my eyes see something that deep down bother me. Today I realized that if i were to keep waiting on his heart to be mine and mine alone, I would have to live everyday with a bit of sorrow. I wonder, how much longer is it going to take? The way I'm expressing myself may sound a little melodramatic but it doesn't matter because these feelings are true. I just don't know. I don't feel it's fair for me and I feel like it really tears me down at times. I just don't hold a performance for the world to see.

Random Thought/Desire of the Day

Not many people read my blogs, i know, but i have a need to type it out today. Just things that are in my head. Lately there's been apart of me that's screaming and kicking to be more fashionable. And no...i don't mean like this type of fashion:

where everything in my possession has to match. lol And i don't mean the stuff on runways that are unwearable like this:





but i feel like i can dress better than i do now. I used to do the dunks with the matching shirt and blah blah blah. But that's not me anymore. And if you're into it, there's nothing wrong with that, I'm just over it. I feel like one of the main things keeping me back from unleashing my super fashionable ego (lol) is where I live. I'm not saying that people in Texas have no style. If you go to the right places you can find a whole mecca of a subculture almost like the hipsters of Williamsburg. But it's the kind of place you run into accidently. Anyway, I don't think i want to type exactly how i feel about the fashion here because i don't want to offend anyone but i just don't wanna feel outta place when i show up to a get-together well dressed and everyone looks like they just got out of bed. There's a couple of people that i know that take that step and don't care about feeling over-dressed and i wish i could say name and commend those people and say "i have so much respect for you for being able to be your own person and not care" but once again i don't wanna offend people.
Those are one of the things that i want to work on, slowly but surely. Just being comfortable expressing myself through my clothes, through photography, and anything else that comes along and helps.

Thanks for Reading :)

Eileen

yeah its been a looooongg timeeee.

I haven't been on here in a long time. basically after i "broke up" with someone. because when it comes down to it...thats what it was even though it wasn't a real relationship. it might as well shoulda been. But i've found someone here. Someone close to me, who makes me happy and i have a ton of fun with. We mesh so well. He know's when i'm upset, when i'm happy, when i'm angry, when i'm drunk...lol. Anyway, so i have the option of going to study in Pakistan for 8 months at a time. And it hurts only because i have been single for the majority of my life. I haven't had many boyfriends no matter what you choose to believe. And this one came along and completely surprised me. and i love it. We've been together for 2 months now. And i just have this feeling like, this is someone who i would have been with for a long time. i've never had any long term relationship, and i feel ready for it. But...all this talk about moving to Pakistan to study for four years makes me so sad. I wouldn't be able to keep a long term relationship with him. I would want him to be happy and if he finds someone while i'm away i want him to take full advantage of it. because i don't feel its fair for him to have to put his life on hold for me. I want him to be happy even though it means me being unhappy. Things aren't official as far as me and studying in pakistan goes. but i have a feeling that its gonna work out and i'll be going there soon and it just makes me sooo sad. But i know that my future and my career should go ahead of any man. (*i'm tearing up just thinking about it right now.*) but i believe in fate. and if its meant to be...then when i'm finished studying to become a neuro-physician in pakistan...if he's single, we'll be together, if not....thats something that i'll have to live with and i'll just have to continue on with my life, and convince myself that there's plenty of fish in the sea. Except...those fishes usually don't come my way. But still....

<3 Eileen

My Cousin Denise

I never thought that i could have a genuinely good time with my 7 year old cousin denise. Why?! because she talks 24/7, she's super clingy, she's annoying. BUUTT....i have to admit...today i enjoyed her company. She was making me laugh. doing all of these weird little accents. it was pretty funny. If i wake up early enough tomorrow we might make another video. But for now you can watch this one :)

No Settlements

Sometimes, you think those pair of shoes are right for you. Then time passes and you start noticing and learning things about the shoes. You realize that maybe this pair isn't the best pair for you. This pair is the complete opposite of what you actually want. And as much as you try to make them feel good, it's never enough. But the shoes are good shoes. This is the point where most stop and think "I'm not gonna get anything any better. These pair of shoes are comfy, durable, and a safe choice." Not me. I don't like to settle for any old pair. I can't keep em if they don't fit. But, how do you let them go? After liking em so much before. How do you say, hey i don't need to wear you everyday anymore. I'm gonna wear others.

I know the search for another pair of shoes may be a long one. But, I just wanna be happy. I want a pair of shoes that can make me happy and that smile everytime i wear them. And if that means shopping till i'm 40-55. I'm okay because I'm not gonna be one of those women committed to one pair of shoes that don't fit. With holes and worn out soles and split shoelaces. Where the white looks black and causes a lot of internal damage. No, not mee. I'm not gonna be one of those. But it's so hard just to put them back in the box and keep em in the back of the closet :(

I'm Soooooo Behind!!

I can't believe I haven't been posting anything!! I feel out of the loop. I haven't even logged in in a while. Life just got a little busy and things are on hold. Like my photography...but i saw a couple of things that really inspired to me today and i wanna take the time out to shoot some ideas myself. It's just kinda hard when i don't have a tripod, or at least a partner i could trust to take the photo for me. There's also people who SAY they want me to take their pictures but they don't follow up on the idea! Don't they understand that i'm offering this stuff for free. I'm pretty freakin good at it. I'm not saying i'm the best i'm just saying for an amateur i'm awesome and by letting me photograph you, you're helping me to get better. Sooo, if there's anyone out there that would like a new myspace picture that looks professionally done then please let me know. I'm also pretty handy with a make-up brush so i could def. do your make-up.
Besides thaaatt...i've had a crazy amount of ideas for vlogs! BUUTT, its kinda hard when all i have to record them would be the camera thats attached to my laptop :| womp womp. Ugh i need to stop making excuses and just DO IT!
I ran across a quote today that i fell in love with:

"Life is the dream, all you have to do is fulfill it"

Its like a better version of "life is what you make it" or "Make the best out of life"

Other things going on in my life...hmmm..
well finally i got this awesome job. Doing what i love, taking pictures and editing them, with my best friend. We work, we chill, we have fun, we lay back when its not busy. And the boss is SUPER awesome. Nicest boss i've ever had. My aunt calls me and says
"Hey Eileen, there's a job opening here at my job for a front desk cashier/reciever. It pays $15/hr and they're looking to hire quickly!"
Ugh...i really don't wanna leave the job i have now. Primarily because this coming semester i'll be taking a FULL course load in school and i know that i could get away with studying while on the job, whereas in my aunts job i don't think they'd allow it. I also plan on going to new york this june which has already been approved basically.

I think my mom got upset that i was thinking about not taking the job. Ugh. It stresses me out when she thinks i'm not making the right decisions. But its my life and i'm one of those people that doesn't sacrifice happiness for money. I know in the future i'll become a rich ass dentist (lol..seriously tho) but for now i just wanna drink, travel, and live life while i'm still able to pee and bathe by myself. Aging is no joke!! I wanna see the world and go through crazy experiences before i turn old.

Till Next Time,

Eileen

SAAYYY CHHHEESSEEE!

My Mood TOday:::: MUSICAL!

Today was my 2nd day at work and it couldn't have gone any better. I even took some pictures and the customer ended up buying the pictures! But yeah i've been so happy today for no apparent reason. lol. I've been jammin on my guitar. I was gonna do a video but i didn't wanna just post videos i want you people to also do some work and REAADDD! lol.

I'm in Dire need of a tennis buddy!!! so if you're free on weekday evenings like around 5:30 or 6. then pleeassee hit me up. because i'm tryna get in shape. I need to be beach ready! lol. i'm like seriously begging over here like the bums under 59 (its a major highway here in TX for those that didn't understand).

Hmmm....what else is worth mentioning?? You guys should really sign up for one of these things. it's awesome!!!!!!!!!!

That's aaalll folks. (porky pig...in honor of swine flu..hahaha.JK thats nothing to joke about! *frowny face*)

My first VLOG & My first Yoga Class

I'm slowly warming up to seeing myself on video. lol. I know i made mistakes LIKEEE::: 45 min before 5 o clock isn't 5:45 :| lol i didn't feel like re-recording it.

first vlog from eileen p on Vimeo.

This track is nasty like pornography

What I really wanted to do was post the video on here but the good people at Universal have completely disabled the embed code on youtube. But hopefully this will suffice in giving you that bit of old school you've been craving. I had to bring this back...lol. 702 with Steelo. Could you imagine goin up to someone this day in age and saying

"you know how i do, and you know how i flow
can i get your name and number
cuz i like your steelo"
:|

I think i'd get laughed at.
Any way i'm sure you all recognize this from Cousin Skeeter. lol. EnJOY!

PRESS PLAY!

Steelo - 702

No More....No More

Here I am. Writing this blog with an upset stomach, red eyes, and the feeling like i wanna barf when i really don't. Yeah, last night Barbie calls me up and says HHEEYYY you wanna hang? and i already know hang means one of 3 things. EAT, DRINK, OR SMOKE. I had already eaten, i was on this sobriety trip, and no smoking for me. So i told her no i didn't feel like going out and she pulls THAT card on me. You know the "I always invite you out to drink and you always say no. You used to be able to hang. Come on" card. "plus its not like we're gonna get drunk". Yeah obviously she lied. lol. Not her fault tho. Completely mine. Anyway, i wake up this morning and there's like this red stuff on my pillow....and my sheets feel a bit wet. And i recognize the red stuff, its the sauce from the spaghetti i had last night. It was just terrible. It IS just terrible. Whatever plans i had to get shitfaced for my 21st bday has all gone out the window. I don't wanna wake up feeling like this. Or worse, not feeling at all...

At least i woke up to BEAUTIFUL writing:
http://marveclectic.blogspot.com/2009/04/to-all-ladiesyou-are-appreciated.html

Oh and i was the inspiration. JEALOUS MUUCCHH??? hahahahaaaa. nah but really pretty words. If you're a guy i suggest you jot down some notesss.

E-THUGGIN IT

So today I decided that I'm gonna hit everyone with a random fact. It's kind of my way to spread a little education to everyone i know. So this is what i told everyone:

i bet you don't know where the US is located without searching the internet or looking through a book or a map

Answer is: Between the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans

HEY...HEY....You're Welcome :)

So I have this friend who decides to be unbelievably difficult...Read On:
Eileeni bet you don't know where the US is located without searching the internet or looking through a book or a map
MisterComplex: wat u mean where its located
Eileen: where in the world is the US
MisterComplex: as in hemisphere continent or wat
Eileen: wow. you're making this a lot more complicated than it is.
Eileen: lol
MisterComplex: thats the idea
Eileen: where is north america located
Eileen: i'll just tell you and you can thank me for telling you where the fuck it is that you live
Eileen: the US is between the atlantic and pacific oceans
MisterComplex: lol oo wow
MisterComplex: not all of north america is between the pacific and the atlantic
Eileen: no you're right. i asked about the US...not all of north america
Eileen: lol...why you tryna get smart now?!?!
MisterComplex: well if u wanna get technical all of the US isnt either
MisterComplex: alaska is up by the arctic
MisterComplex: lol
Eileen: you're a douche...you don't live in alaska...douche
Eileen: lolol
MisterComplex: lol
Eileen: i'm tryna teach YOU something.
Eileen: and then you try to make me look like an idiot afterwards.
Eileen: okay okay
MisterComplex: lol
Eileen: i see what it is
Eileen: slick ass muthafucka

Now, see all the "fucks" and "muthafuckas".....I don't speak this way in person!!! Only if i'm being extra silly. But this is an instance of E-THUGGIN. It's like all of a sudden i turn into Samuel L Jackson! Please Press Play :)


lol. its just something that i noticed and found funny. So i'm sharing it with YOU ALL :) I hope it wasn't too much to read.

BOONNNUUUSSSS

Me thuggin in some exclusive never before seen pictures. lol. ENJOY :)

when i see this pic i feel like i should be hearing

Eye Of The Tiger - Survivor

"It's the Eye of the Tiger
It's the Thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all
With the Eye of the Tiger
The Eye of the Tiger" LMAO

Late Night Stanky Leg on Stickam

I must admit...i wasn't so sure of what i was doing. But my stanky leg is ON POINT BITCHHEESSSS :)

WEBCAM WARS

Another victim....meet ALEX. bahahahahaha.

webcammin with the homieeeee

This is my mini me (or so they say) Tati. Hopefully she'll be makin some funny videos for me to post on here about bxrivalulu type girls..lool
bxrivalulu= ghetto brx girls.

CHECK IT

I'll give you some time bitches.

This is basically for anyone who cares to get me a gift for my bday. Honestly this is more like a WISH list than a bday list becuase I wish someone WOUULLD get me a gift. But every year is the same and so i'm not expecting anything. But this was fun to do. If you're actually thinking about getting me anything ask me for my size. Here is my April 28th Birthday Wish List 2009 :)

1.) Martina Acid Wash Skinny Jean

2.) H81 Knotted Back Banded Tunic in Black


3.)Nerd Glasses Buddy Holly Wayfarer Black Frame Clear Lens


So far this is it. I will probably add more. cuz i can't think right now.

Beautiful Day

Today I def. nailed my job interview. Thanks Naz. Goodbye Picture People, Helllooo Kiddie Kandids.
Today was a beautiful day outside. Now watch the sun set on my face :)

Unfuckinbelievable

So, I wake up, get ready for work, and drive my little happy ass there. I clock in, say hello to a few people and walk into the back room to hang my purse and sweater. The manager says hello and introduces me to the rude fatass who didn't even turn around to acknowledge me, and asks me "do you have a belt?" Mind you i am wearing my mother's trousers who is about 2 sizes smaller than i am so i'm pretty much deciding my own DEATH! Anyway, i answer truthfull,
Me: No I don't have a belt
Manager: Well can you get one?
Me: You mean....go back home and get one?
Manager: yeah, or you can...
Me: Buy one?
Manager: yeah, or something.
* I stare at her like, You've GOT to be kidding me right? you're gonna ask me to go back....for a BELT*
Manager: How far away do you live?
Me: 10-15 min.
Manager: okay.

I felt my face get tense with angeerr.
I just think....why did she have to be a bitch about it. why couldn't she just let me slide this one time and let me know that the next time she'd be sending me home.
I go home completely pissed about the whole situation that i really don't wanna go back. So i call and i tell her i don't have any belts. and i would have appreciated it if she would have just given me a warning instead of sending me all the way home to get one.
she apologized (non-sincerely) and said its the dress code.

Anyway, I have a job interview tomorrow at a better paying photography studio. where i wouldn't have to clean any bathrooms. Hallelujah. Wish me luck :)

What Would You Do?

I have spent tooo much time laughin at this.

What else you expect from the joker? Clownin

my nephew. He got a choreography vhs out on sale now called "Kickin it Hip Hop with Ryon"

out in stores now. Go cop it.

This kinda made my day. he's silly.

Things are getting better :)

SONG OF THE DAY issssss Adele - Tired (6th Sense Remix)

Finally it has stopped raining. For the past couple of weeks i've had a black cloud over my head and no umbrella to keep me dry. I isolated myself from important people and doubted myself and how others felt about me. I was even about to give up my music and my photography was on hold. I just felt completely useless. No Job, No School, No Communication. I'm so grateful for the only 2 friends I have here. Even though I neglected them for about 3 weeks, when i was ready to talk to them they recieved me with open arms and told me how much they missed me. I'm still not ready to get back in the swing of things like the usual bar hopping and house parties and random midnight drives down Westheimer but i'll start warming up. April must be my lucky month though. For one, my birthday is in April, and this is the second consecutive year I find a job in April :)


Tonight we're gonna have a dinner for a friend who's gotten accepted to Nursing school. I'll be taking my camera. And I also want to show off my beautiful godchild lol. I look like a mess in the picture but she's radiant. So, HOPEFULLY, if i don't get lazy tonight I will post those pictures along with a video of my nephew dancing lol.


Have a Beautiful Day




Eileen Pineapple ♥

Hi, I'm the Insomniac :)

This shoulda been done LAST NIGHT while my ass was up till 5 am :
The song of the Day & Last night issss: Drake - Successful

Anywaayy, let me tell you about my first day of work. It was...a first day. Basically, signing paperwork, being introduced to people, seeing how they work yada yada yada. I work at a photography studio called picture people. Nothing fancy, no high editorial shoot type stuff, just kids and families and anyone else who wants to have pictures taken. My manager seems sweet and the other co-worker i met is the "troublesome" one. Looks like i'll be taking that title from her. ha.

Due to my CHRONIC insomnia i managed to wake up at 3 pm today and check my messages only to hear one from the good people at picture people askin me if i could come work today at 3 pm. lol...YYEAAHH...not making that one anytime soon.

And i'm just now getting videos in for my about me section. If you don't already know...DIVINE......make me a video with a couple words that describe me. Doesnt even have to be nice...lol....just someetthiingg.

Ladies and Gents, I Now Present to You Miss Eileen.

Hello :)
Most likely if you're reading this you know who I am. I am a 20 yr old who's heart lies in the arts but who's expectations are in science. I'm studying to become a dentist. I sing (well try), I play guitar (self taught), piano, i used to play violin, guitar hero :) I dabble in dance, did ballet and jazz for a long time, and participated in hip hop choreography and a couple of small acting rolls in high school talent shows and other events. I'm a really silly and fun person and i wanna bring that into my blogs.

I'm gonna be posting pictures, videos, sharing my days with you whether it be good bad sad or crazzyy. I'm workin on becoming a celebrity off of this thing..lol. not really but wouldn't it be awesome? I wanna be honest in my blogs. Not gonna try and hide too much even though it'll be HARD not to. So hopefully i get more followers :)

IMPORTANT EVENTS!
i start my new JOB tomorrow as a photographer! Congratulations meeee.